On April 1, join CHALT for an all-inclusive LUXURY* cruise on the Friends of the Alliance of the Seas

Every stateroom and suite include:

  • Unique welcome ritual
  • Plenty of petition space
  • A private en-suite petition desk
  • Impervious surface in the shower
  • A PhD in leadership management
  • A new hotmail account with 5 pre-formatted emails to Council – just fill in something progressive that you don’t like and hit send!
  • One free massage at the Senses of Entitlement Spa

Onboard activities include:

  • Concerned citizens conga
  • Joni Mitchell dance party (only song allowed is Big Yellow Taxi)
  • Traffic monitoring on the lower decks
  • Win, Lose, or Stall
  • Musical chairs, only no one ever moves
  • Advisory board meetings every night on the concierge deck
  • Shuffle advisory board, where you try to block anyone who is not part of CHALT from serving
  • Anger management classes (but with a fresh twist – you’ll learn how to be more angry, not less!)
  • Camp Listserv
  • The Blame Game (no UNC undergrads are allowed on the boat, so please bring a picture or effigy of one)
  • 80s Night
  • 80s Night
  • 80s Night
  • 80s Trivia
  • Speedy Ziplines from 2-story structures
  • Rappel down the side of the boat to see just how many suites are vacant
  • When you need some relaxing downtime, choose among several pointless working groups and task forces – but don’t worry, there’s no pressure to accomplish anything!
  • We’re not against stopping at an island, but it can’t be that island…
  • Trust falls (protective gear is provided at no cost because no one trusts you)
  • A Murder Mystery Party in which you have to figure out who killed nearly every proposed housing development since 1984
  • Keep your mind sharp by attending our expert lecture series, including topics like “How to Retire Comfortable by Investing in Wildly-profitable Yet Empty Apartment Buildings” and “Bus Rapid Transit: When to Act Like You Are For It, and When to Completely Ignore It”

Dine at one of five fabulous restaurants

  • The Stormwater Runoff Lounge serves classic cocktails, include Wisteria Sodas and Salamander Spritzes
  • Enjoy a huge platter of one egg at the Density Diner
  • The Old Growth Forest Tavern, serving a delightful plant-based menu that emphasis walnuts and chestnuts*
  • Neighborhood Character, where only single-decker BLTs are served
  • Have an appetizer at the Not Enough Parking Cafe and dessert at the Too Much Parking Pub

Or grab a snack from The Process Seems Rushed, our grab and go cafe featuring sandwiches made three years ago.

Head to the Port of Wegmans for one of our fabulous excursions:

  • Snorkeling
  • Market-rate Parasailing
  • The Mixed-Use Helicopter Ride

*Please note luxury is a marketing term and the cruise is on a boat built in 1953.

* The chef reserves the right to replace walnuts and chestnuts with loblolly pine sap

** Let us know if you’re allergic to seafood or duplexes.

Read more April Fools; Day stories from Triangle Blog Blog….