On April 1, join CHALT for an all-inclusive LUXURY* cruise on the Friends of the Alliance of the Seas
Every stateroom and suite include:
- Unique welcome ritual
- Plenty of petition space
- A private en-suite petition desk
- Impervious surface in the shower
- A PhD in leadership management
- A new hotmail account with 5 pre-formatted emails to Council – just fill in something progressive that you don’t like and hit send!
- One free massage at the Senses of Entitlement Spa
Onboard activities include:
- Concerned citizens conga
- Joni Mitchell dance party (only song allowed is Big Yellow Taxi)
- Traffic monitoring on the lower decks
- Win, Lose, or Stall
- Musical chairs, only no one ever moves
- Advisory board meetings every night on the concierge deck
- Shuffle advisory board, where you try to block anyone who is not part of CHALT from serving
- Anger management classes (but with a fresh twist – you’ll learn how to be more angry, not less!)
- Camp Listserv
- The Blame Game (no UNC undergrads are allowed on the boat, so please bring a picture or effigy of one)
- 80s Night
- 80s Night
- 80s Night
- 80s Trivia
- Speedy Ziplines from 2-story structures
- Rappel down the side of the boat to see just how many suites are vacant
- When you need some relaxing downtime, choose among several pointless working groups and task forces – but don’t worry, there’s no pressure to accomplish anything!
- We’re not against stopping at an island, but it can’t be that island…
- Trust falls (protective gear is provided at no cost because no one trusts you)
- A Murder Mystery Party in which you have to figure out who killed nearly every proposed housing development since 1984
- Keep your mind sharp by attending our expert lecture series, including topics like “How to Retire Comfortable by Investing in Wildly-profitable Yet Empty Apartment Buildings” and “Bus Rapid Transit: When to Act Like You Are For It, and When to Completely Ignore It”
Dine at one of five fabulous restaurants
- The Stormwater Runoff Lounge serves classic cocktails, include Wisteria Sodas and Salamander Spritzes
- Enjoy a huge platter of one egg at the Density Diner
- The Old Growth Forest Tavern, serving a delightful plant-based menu that emphasis walnuts and chestnuts*
- Neighborhood Character, where only single-decker BLTs are served
- Have an appetizer at the Not Enough Parking Cafe and dessert at the Too Much Parking Pub
Or grab a snack from The Process Seems Rushed, our grab and go cafe featuring sandwiches made three years ago.
Head to the Port of Wegmans for one of our fabulous excursions:
- Snorkeling
- Market-rate Parasailing
- The Mixed-Use Helicopter Ride
*Please note luxury is a marketing term and the cruise is on a boat built in 1953.
* The chef reserves the right to replace walnuts and chestnuts with loblolly pine sap
** Let us know if you’re allergic to seafood or duplexes.
Read more April Fools; Day stories from Triangle Blog Blog….