The simple truth is the way city, state, and local governments conduct their meetings is antiquated and a holdover from a time that once was. As a species, humans have advanced far beyond the rigid formalities of parliamentary procedure. I have the attention span of a goldfish at this point!
Realistically, I cannot overthrow how the Towns of Chapel Hill and Carrboro conducts their city council meetings, but we can modernize them. Over the past two decades, the digital revolution has made attention a commodity, but the city neglects this fact. Thus, we here at the Triangle Blog Blog are becoming activist journalists with our new campaign – demanding Chapel Hill and Carrboro hire a DJ for all city meetings to plan thematic music between all agenda items.
A PETITION SUPPORTING IMPLEMENTING A DJ TO TURN RECORDS THAT ARE THEMATICALLY RELATED TO AGENDA ITEMS BETWEEN EACH AGENDA ITEM ON SAID AGENDA
WHEREAS Town Council typically meets for upwards of 3-4 hours on Tuesday nights in Carrboro and Wednesday nights in Chapel Hill
WHEREAS this is a very long time, the city council meetings can be a bit dry and boring, and we believe that adding some sick beats would liven things up considerably.
WHEREAS a good DJ constantly keeps an audience engaged, takes them on a journey with music, and has the ability to read the crowd
WHEREAS sometimes the crowd in this room is pretty hostile and may be less so if upbeat catchy music is played
WHEREAS there’s an empty dais seat with enough room for my Mackie Compact Mix8 8-Channel
WHEREAS, we understand that hiring a DJ might require some additional funding, we propose a steep property tax increase specifically for a town-wide vinyl fund. After all, what’s a little extra cash when you’re dancing in your seat to the sounds of “I Will Survive” during a debate on zoning ordinances? Perchance.
WHEREAS we should dare to imagine the possibilities: “Eye of the Tiger” when discussing EMS services, “Money, Money, Money” whilst discussing the budget, and “Celebration” when a new development is approved. Perchance, It’s time to inject some fun into these meetings, and what better way to do it than with a DJ?
WHEREAS the current City Council chambers are unconducive to the appropriate level of enjoyment for which a DJ solicits, a further investment must be appropriated to remove all preexisting furniture and previously mentioned dais for the creation of an area of dancing, pejoratively called a “dance floor.”
WHEREAS, in today’s fast-paced world, citizens have short attention spans and are more likely to engage with content that is visually and musically stimulating, so in addition to the DJ and dance floor, we would like to request some blacklighting and neon lasers. Also haze.
WHEREAS ARE YOU READY TO MAKE SOME NOOOOOISSSSEEEEE
Whereas a DJ will not only improve the overall mood of the meeting but also encourage citizen engagement. Perhappenchance, a DJ will attract younger community members to participate in meetings. Who knows, perfrance the addition of a DJ will even lead to more citizens attending city council meetings and getting involved in local politics.
WHEREAS Club Town Council is going to be lit.
THEREBY We hereby petition that the town councils of Chapel Hill and Carrboro hire a DJ to play thematic music in between agenda items during city council meetings.
Riley Sullivan, Melody Kramer and 61,126 other people who we’re sure will sign this immediately